Bethesda Baguette Gallery
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2 CommentsArchive for July, 2010
Crowd Fails to Gather to Watch Juggler Practice
Crowd fails to gather to watch juggler practice his art in Bethesda alley. According to witnesses, crowd was still looking for parking and missed the whole thing, damn-it.
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Nostalgia For Shuttered Blockbuster Store Still Runs Deep
Some Bethesda residents still pine for the good old days, before the new alley known as Bethesda Lane, back when Aveda was the most expensive store on the street, back when a quarter bought a whole 20 minutes of parking, and, especially, back when Blockbuster Video still sat near the end of Bethesda
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Bethesda Shoppers Mourn the Loss of Yet Another Useless Tchotchke Store
Hobart L., president of the local business organization, Bethesda Chamber of Secrets, lamented, “It’s a real sign that the recession is still upon us. This area used to support six or seven useless tchotchke stores. Now only four are left.” Distraught shopper Gina W., staring at the darken
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BWN Investigates Urban Planning: Getting Us Where We Live
Ever wonder why the area around Woodmont Avenue, Elm Street, and Bethesda Avenue has been developed to attract upscale shops and dining, while the east side of Wisconsin Avenue reflects nostalgia for the shopping areas of yesteryear, with its lamp store, flea market, mediocre Chinese restaurant, and
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Family Fails to Renovate, Neighbors Hold Intervention
Flocked wallpaper, shag carpets, water-guzzling toilets, and Formica countertops were the norm in the Cortwell residence, until worried neighbors took matters into their own hands. “They were so dull at parties,” said neighbor Cissy Flatern. “Everyone else would be talking about cost overr
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Neighbors Alert Authorities About Boy With Free, Unscheduled Afternoon
Neighborhood listservs lit up yesterday with reports of a boy spotted kicking a can down a local street after school hours, seemingly with no afternoon activity to go to. “I was shocked and saddened,” said Lisa M., who noticed the boy while ferrying her son, Jake, from his fencing class to hi
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Bethesda Elementary Discovers First Ungifted Child
Routine testing confirmed administrators’ worst fears: A child of average academic ability was enrolled at their school. The child, whose identity is being protected, has been provided with round-the-clock remedial help in all subjects in order to keep up with peers. Still, when a BWN reporter
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Landmark Theater Hosts One-Millionth Smug Elitist
The Landmark movie theater on Woodmont Avenue welcomed its millionth visitor last night. George F. was to receive a discount on his ticket, and a free copy of the book, Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. “I was really surprised,” said George. “Those tickets are expensive, and I got mine for only
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‘Madonna of the Trail’ Statue to be Resculpted
In a press conference held earlier this week, Bethesda Chamber of Secrets officials announced that the longtime downtown fixture, “Madonna of the Trail” is to be resculpted this year. “She’s just so dowdy,” said spokesperson Fran Collingsworth. “Frankly, I’m surprised it didn’
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Woman Spotted on Woodmont Ave Without Pedicure
An angry father covered his child’s eyes. “Can you believe she’d go out of the house like that? Next thing you know, she’ll be skipping the bikini wax.” Local law enforcement arrived before there was an incident. Officer Len T. said, “Turned out she wasn’t from around here. We l
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Edgemoor Man’s Library Fines Result in Lien Against Home
Homeowner Gary L. was shocked to discover a lien had been placed against his home for excessive library fines. “It was such a confusing situation,” said Gary. “You can’t return books to Barnes & Noble. But you must return books to the public library. Who can keep that straight?”
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