Archive for September, 2010
Linda J. waited at the classroom door to tie her daughter’s shoes on her way out to recess. “I just couldn’t sit at home wondering if she’d trip and fall and get bits of gravel embedded in her palms. There’s no reason why she should have to experience that kind of pain.”
Meanwhile,
09.30.2010| Education | Editor
Local residents may have noticed a recent increase in the stinkbug population. Attracted by the temperate climate and the excellent shopping and cultural opportunities, the stinkbugs tell us they plan on staying for a while.
“We like the convenience to metro,” said Sal Stinkbug. “And the re
09.28.2010| Culture | Editor
Bethesda is reeling today with the news that Whole Foods plans to stock genuine organic products. One shopper at the River Road store told BWN: “We’re used to the fake organics. Real organics will just confuse us. I mean, I used to think everything here was organic.” She looked around nervousl
09.20.2010| Business | Editor
At 10:33 this morning, a shopper made an actual purchase at the Bethesda Lane Le Creuset store. When the call came to the Sit-Room of the Bethesda Chamber of Secrets, there was celebration. Jim K. popped the cork on a champagne bottle, and his associate, Susan G., sobbed at her desk.
"Tears o
09.20.2010| Business | Editor
by Jack and Josey Knestout
“Let’s be honest; people look at each other’s butts. We want to pretend we don’t, but we all do” Barbara (“Babs”) Dandicat comments. “Let’s face it; there’s really not much else of interest on the human backside.”
It’s that Bethesda backsi
09.12.2010| Business | Editor
It’s a sad tale, and one we hear all too often. Just when a pothole is discovering its full-depth potential, someone comes along and fills it in.
“I’m numb. I can’t feel the cars driving over me anymore,” said the pothole on Old Georgetown Road at Huntington Parkway. “I wish I c
09.10.2010| Culture | Editor
Now that cupcakes are allowed a storefront, patrons have no need to hide. “I used to have to go to the schoolyard at midnight to buy these,” said one man, who refused to give his name. “Now you can get them right out in the open, in broad daylight, at a licensed business.”
Another man
09.7.2010| Culture | Editor
Numerous arrests were made in the parking lot at Woodmont and Bethesda avenues, when police discovered a ring of thieves who were stealing your parking space. The thieves would stay out of sight, while unsuspecting drivers waited patiently in the lot for someone to vacate a space. The moment
09.3.2010| Culture | Editor