Pepco spokesman Earl K. stated that, "New Pepco workers are now in place, and they've agreed to work for no pay as long as we keep them on ice. We have to be patient, they are still getting up to speed. In fact, they're not moving at all, except to melt a little when the sun comes out. But we exp
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When asked why he wrote himself a ticket, Parking Enforcement Officer Carl H. explained, "No one is above the rules. Not even---Wait, that's MY car?"
01.22.2011| Culture, Featured | Editor
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Pentagon officials launched an investigation after finding that hundreds of Bethesda pedestrians cross against the light, jaywalk, and ignore oncoming traffic whenever and wherever they please. “According to our surveillance, there is absolutely no fear of mortality among citizens in the Bethes
01.16.2011| Culture, Featured | Editor
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Alexandra C. was shocked to find a recyclable plastic water bottle in neighbor Todd and Tori H.’s regular trash can. “This is the first time my trash-snooping has turned up anything,” said Alexandra. “But I knew that if I kept at it, I would find some dirt.” What made her suspect tha
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School administrators cheered the Council’s decision to keep the police officers in school, forever. Following the decision, the officers were humanely immobilized and encased in amber. They will be distributed throughout area high schools, where they will be placed in strategic locations at
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