After learning that a local denim store provides beer to shoppers (Bethesda Gazette, 3/30/11), nearby businesses decided to cash in on the trend. Equator Fitness now offers pre-workout Ritalin and post-workout Oxycontin to members. Boring Noble Books provides Xanax for those shopping in the busi
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The Walter Reed National Military Medical Center has announced that the addition of 2,500 new employees due to BRAC (Base Realignment and Closure) will result in a reduced ratio of available parking spaces on campus. Before BRAC, there was one parking space for every two employees, now there will
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“Now I can go back to not paying any attention to my surroundings at all!” said Kristin Y., ordering a latte at Pain Quotidien. “Don’t worry, be happy,” shouted Mark G., while crossing the street. “Did you say something?” He asked, pointing to his earbuds. “The main take-
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After years of fielding complaints that the Gifted and Talented label is unfair and discriminatory in singling out students who are a lot smarter than other students, the county has decided to eliminate the classification. Some parents contend that students who were only Sort of Smart were being
03.11.2011| Education, Featured | Editor
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Please, no pink pants off the golf course. Special note on lobster belt: Permitted only if you can find a place to catch fresh lobsters near Bethesda. The tank at Giant Foods does not count.
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"Tree limbs will no longer interfere with the power lines," said Pepco spokesman Greg T. "What? Isn't that what you wanted?"
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Last month, Bethesda World News asked readers to nominate the Most Amazing Local Teenager. Your letters poured in! The Editors read every single letter, and some of them had nothing to do with persuading us to buy prescription drugs from overseas sellers. We held a meeting, and
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by Paula Whyman & Carolyn Parkhurst According to the latest data, Bethesda is seeing a dramatic increase in the number of children in the area. Whereas on the national level, the average family includes 1.8 children, in Bethesda, the average is 3.475. This points to a growing trend, says
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“It’s only logical for me to have the last piece of sushi,” said Colby. “I’m the most capable with chopsticks.” “That’s elitist,” said Tarnoff. “Am I out of the running just because I never learned to use chopsticks? High level skills should not be a prerequisite for acces
02.14.2011| Education | Editor
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With a high of 48 degrees, and no snow in sight, area residents prepared for the worst. “I’ve got a new bag of salt and a shovel. My plan is to stand around and wait until the forecast changes,” said Ralph Gwertzman. His daughter Taylor, wearing a new snowsuit, sat on her sled in
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Tired of taking the blame for Pepco's outage troubles, local trees threaten to take matters into their own hands. "Don't mess with us," says unnamed tree spokesman. "We're bigger than you. And some of us are rotten to the core."
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Pepco spokesman Earl K. stated that, "New Pepco workers are now in place, and they've agreed to work for no pay as long as we keep them on ice. We have to be patient, they are still getting up to speed. In fact, they're not moving at all, except to melt a little when the sun comes out. But we exp
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When asked why he wrote himself a ticket, Parking Enforcement Officer Carl H. explained, "No one is above the rules. Not even---Wait, that's MY car?"
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Pentagon officials launched an investigation after finding that hundreds of Bethesda pedestrians cross against the light, jaywalk, and ignore oncoming traffic whenever and wherever they please. “According to our surveillance, there is absolutely no fear of mortality among citizens in the Bethes
01.16.2011| Culture, Featured | Editor
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Alexandra C. was shocked to find a recyclable plastic water bottle in neighbor Todd and Tori H.’s regular trash can. “This is the first time my trash-snooping has turned up anything,” said Alexandra. “But I knew that if I kept at it, I would find some dirt.” What made her suspect tha
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