Board of Ed to Vote on Last Piece of Potluck Sushi
“It’s only logical for me to have the last piece of sushi,” said Colby. “I’m the most capable with chopsticks.”
“That’s elitist,” said Tarnoff. “Am I out of the running just because I never learned to use chopsticks? High level skills should not be a prerequisite for accessing the sushi. I can eat it with a fork.”
“We need to bring this to a vote,” said Norton. “If you think Colby should have the last piece of sushi, raise your hand. Okay, eight. If you think Tarnoff should have the last piece of sushi, show of hands. Eight again. Did someone vote twice?”
“The piece of sushi should be divided in half,” said Jenkins. “It’s the only equitable way.”
“Yes,” said Norton, “otherwise it unfairly benefits one party.”
“We need to think outside the box here,” said Schultz. “Why should only two people be in consideration? The rest of us would have liked a chance at the last piece of sushi. Just because we were distracted by the six varieties of pasta salad on the table. I didn’t even see the sushi until it was almost gone.”
“That’s it then,” said Norton. “We divide the sushi into equal pieces for all. That way, everyone will benefit equally. No one is favored.”
“That’s silly,” said Colby. “Half the people here don’t even like sushi.”
“Well, you can’t just offer it to people who already know they like it,” said Schultz. “You have to offer the opportunity to those who might not have tried it before or might not even be aware that it’s an option.”
“Yes,” said Norton. “Everyone should be made aware of the sushi.”
“But,” said Tarnoff, “if you divide it into 15 pieces, you won’t even taste it.”
“It’s about fairness,” said Norton. “Next time, the dishes will be listed in advance in an email to all the members. That way, we will all be aware of the sushi.”
“I move that sushi not be permitted at our next pot luck,” said Jenkins. “The dangers of raw seafood pose a liability issue.”
“People can decide for themselves whether to take that risk,” said Colby.
“We have a responsibility to inform them,” said Jenkins.
“Let’s not forget that we’re lucky to have this sushi,” said Schultz. “Most districts can’t do any better than lasagna.”
“Clearly, this issue requires further debate,” said Norton, “and due to the late hour, I move that we table it for the next meeting.”
“Second,” said Schultz.
“But the sushi will spoil by then,” said Colby.
“Then no one gets the last piece,” said Tarnoff.
“It’s only fair,” said Norton.
The final sushi vote will take place at a closed meeting on March 17.
