The rumor mill has been churning with speculation about the changes we're likely to see in the new iPhone, which is due out either in June, September, October, November, or December of 2012; or to coincide with the upcoming solar eclipse in August of 2017; or right after you finally get tired of wai
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It’s Restaurant Week in Bethesda! That means 11 out of the 2,375 restaurants in Bethesda are offering Special Menus to appeal to customers. We would have called it, “A Handful-of-Old-Hat-Restaurants-Feeling-Threatened-By-New-Competition-Would-Like-to-Remind-You-They-Exist-By-Offering-Discount
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After learning that a local denim store provides beer to shoppers (Bethesda Gazette, 3/30/11), nearby businesses decided to cash in on the trend. Equator Fitness now offers pre-workout Ritalin and post-workout Oxycontin to members. Boring Noble Books provides Xanax for those shopping in the busi
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Tired of taking the blame for Pepco's outage troubles, local trees threaten to take matters into their own hands. "Don't mess with us," says unnamed tree spokesman. "We're bigger than you. And some of us are rotten to the core."
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Pepco spokesman Earl K. stated that, "New Pepco workers are now in place, and they've agreed to work for no pay as long as we keep them on ice. We have to be patient, they are still getting up to speed. In fact, they're not moving at all, except to melt a little when the sun comes out. But we exp
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Bethesda is reeling today with the news that Whole Foods plans to stock genuine organic products. One shopper at the River Road store told BWN: “We’re used to the fake organics. Real organics will just confuse us. I mean, I used to think everything here was organic.” She looked around nervousl
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At 10:33 this morning, a shopper made an actual purchase at the Bethesda Lane Le Creuset store. When the call came to the Sit-Room of the Bethesda Chamber of Secrets, there was celebration. Jim K. popped the cork on a champagne bottle, and his associate, Susan G., sobbed at her desk. "Tears o
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by Jack and Josey Knestout “Let’s be honest; people look at each other’s butts. We want to pretend we don’t, but we all do” Barbara (“Babs”) Dandicat comments. “Let’s face it; there’s really not much else of interest on the human backside.” It’s that Bethesda backsi
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Not a company to rest on its laurels, Fedex has expanded its model to include spa services by purchasing the Aveda stores. “It’s a natural for us,” says John B., regional manager. “After decimating the Kinko’s brand, we were looking for our next victim.
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Some Bethesda residents still pine for the good old days, before the new alley known as Bethesda Lane, back when Aveda was the most expensive store on the street, back when a quarter bought a whole 20 minutes of parking, and, especially, back when Blockbuster Video still sat near the end of Bethesda
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Hobart L., president of the local business organization, Bethesda Chamber of Secrets, lamented, “It’s a real sign that the recession is still upon us. This area used to support six or seven useless tchotchke stores. Now only four are left.” Distraught shopper Gina W., staring at the darken
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Ever wonder why the area around Woodmont Avenue, Elm Street, and Bethesda Avenue has been developed to attract upscale shops and dining, while the east side of Wisconsin Avenue reflects nostalgia for the shopping areas of yesteryear, with its lamp store, flea market, mediocre Chinese restaurant, and
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Flocked wallpaper, shag carpets, water-guzzling toilets, and Formica countertops were the norm in the Cortwell residence, until worried neighbors took matters into their own hands. “They were so dull at parties,” said neighbor Cissy Flatern. “Everyone else would be talking about cost overr
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