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Fiesta Night to Replace Back-to-School Night as School Year Kick-Off Event

Fiesta Night to Replace Back-to-School Night as School Year Kick-Off Event

In a move to transform Back-to-School night into a low-stress evening of fun social interaction, Montgomery County public school administrators have replaced it with Fiesta Night. Instead of viewing boring PowerPoints about curricula, schedules, and rules, parents will be encouraged to drink margari

08.26.2012| Education |

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Breaking News:  Something Bad Happened at Sidwell Friends School, and Everyone Whose kids Didn’t Get In Can’t Wait to Tell You About It!

Breaking News: Something Bad Happened at Sidwell Friends School, and Everyone Whose kids Didn’t Get In Can’t Wait to Tell You About It!

In the latest scandal involving the school attended by President Obama’s daughters, who have nothing to do with this story, but need to be mentioned in every story about Sidwell Friends School, forever and ever--and by the way, Chelsea Clinton went there, too-- What were we saying?

05.13.2011| Education |

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School Board Selects Cardboard Cutout to Succeed Superintendent Weast; <br>James Franco to Film Weast Biopic

School Board Selects Cardboard Cutout to Succeed Superintendent Weast;
James Franco to Film Weast Biopic

“We were all pretty depressed about School Superintendent Jerry Weast’s impending retirement.  I could hardly get out of bed in the morning,” said Board Member Frank Pierce.  “We may be one of the finest school districts in the country, but you don’t get that way without doin

04.27.2011| Education |

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Schools to Scrap ‘Gifted & Talented’ Label, Because When You Get Right Down to it, Everyone’s the Same

Schools to Scrap ‘Gifted & Talented’ Label, Because When You Get Right Down to it, Everyone’s the Same

After years of fielding complaints that the Gifted and Talented label is unfair and discriminatory in singling out students who are a lot smarter than other students, the county has decided to eliminate the classification. Some parents contend that students who were only Sort of Smart were being

03.11.2011| Education, Featured |

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Board of Ed to Vote on Last Piece of Potluck Sushi

Board of Ed to Vote on Last Piece of Potluck Sushi

“It’s only logical for me to have the last piece of sushi,” said Colby. “I’m the most capable with chopsticks.” “That’s elitist,” said Tarnoff.  “Am I out of the running just because I never learned to use chopsticks?  High level skills should not be a prerequisite for acces

02.14.2011| Education |

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Montgomery Council Votes to Preserve Nine Police Officers in County Schools*

Montgomery Council Votes to Preserve Nine Police Officers in County Schools*

School administrators cheered the Council’s decision to keep the police officers in school, forever. Following the decision, the officers were humanely immobilized and encased in amber.  They will be distributed throughout area high schools, where they will be placed in strategic locations at

01.5.2011| Education |

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Board of Education Cancels Busing, Tells Magnet Students to Hitchhike to School

Board of Education Cancels Busing, Tells Magnet Students to Hitchhike to School

The Board of Education has decided that students who are admitted to public school magnet programs that take place away from their home school will just have to find a way to get to school on their own. Parent Gloria L. laments, “If I have to drive my daughter across town every day, I’ll be l

11.8.2010| Education |

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Teachers Push for Test-Prep Time, Say Actual Knowledge? Who Needs It?

Teachers Push for Test-Prep Time, Say Actual Knowledge? Who Needs It?

“When the most important factor is test performance, we hate wasting valuable time figuring out what to put in a lesson plan,” says social studies teacher, Angela C.  “I mean, what’s ‘social studies’ anyway?  No one really knows. So how can I possibly narrow the possibilities and teac

10.13.2010| Education |

3 Comments
Local Schools Decide to Just Give Annoying Parents Whatever the Hell They Want

Local Schools Decide to Just Give Annoying Parents Whatever the Hell They Want

Linda J. waited at the classroom door to tie her daughter’s shoes on her way out to recess.  “I just couldn’t sit at home wondering if she’d trip and fall and get bits of gravel embedded in her palms. There’s no reason why she should have to experience that kind of pain.” Meanwhile,

09.30.2010| Education |

3 Comments
Neighbors Alert Authorities About Boy With Free, Unscheduled Afternoon

Neighbors Alert Authorities About Boy With Free, Unscheduled Afternoon

Neighborhood listservs lit up yesterday with reports of a boy spotted kicking a can down a local street after school hours, seemingly with no afternoon activity to go to. “I was shocked and saddened,” said Lisa M., who noticed the boy while ferrying her son, Jake, from his fencing class to hi

07.2.2010| Education |

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Bethesda Elementary Discovers First Ungifted Child

Bethesda Elementary Discovers First Ungifted Child

Routine testing confirmed administrators’ worst fears: A child of average academic ability was enrolled at their school. The child, whose identity is being protected, has been provided with round-the-clock remedial help in all subjects in order to keep up with peers. Still, when a BWN reporter

07.2.2010| Education |

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