Bethesda World News

County Voters Decisively Choose ‘Huh?’ for Question D

According to random telephone surveys, Ballot Question D is not clearly understood by most County residents of voting age. Those surveyed were asked to choose from among the following statements the one that best describes their response to the issues raised by Question D:

a. Question D is good for my family.

b. Question D is bad for my family

c. I have no friggin’ idea what Question D is.

d. One large bag of Cheetos.

More than 80% surveyed chose option C. The remaining 20% chose option D, even though it appears that option D was an error that occurred when the pollster’s grocery list was merged with the survey file.

“Ballot Question D is a critical issue for all county residents,” said Agnes N. of the local League of Women Voters, “and it’s disturbing that so many people have trouble with it, when it’s really perfectly clear.”

BWN expects voters will align with their affinity groups to vote for or against this measure.  Currently, Realtors, the teachers union, food service workers, astrologers, and members of the society for consulting engineers are urging residents to vote AGAINST the measure.

At the same time, the insurance industry, firefighters, retail chamber of commerce members, personal trainers, lawyers, and sex workers would like residents to vote FOR the measure.

On the other hand, the grocers association, food manufacturers commission, gamers, and stoners favor a large bag of Cheetos.

BWN asked Agnes to clarify Question D for our readers.

Agnes explained, “Question D pertains to the ongoing discussion concerning the insurance industry and reimbursement and certain covered expenses. Residents should see no direct charges.  However, if the expenses are in the covered category but are not reimbursed, then members will need to apply directly. If the expenses are applied to your deductible, or if those expenses aren’t covered, then Question D will mean…”

Agnes F. continued to blather on as BWN left the room. It is clear to BWN that Question D is a very important measure that has something to do with something, and that someone or other will vote for or against it. Depending on who shows up to vote, Question D could be decided by a small handful of motivated voters, for instance, that guy down the street from you who doesn’t pick up after his dog.

BWN does not take sides, but we make it our business to explain the issues at stake.