Family Fails to Renovate, Neighbors Hold Intervention
Flocked wallpaper, shag carpets, water-guzzling toilets, and Formica countertops were the norm in the Cortwell residence, until worried neighbors took matters into their own hands.
“They were so dull at parties,” said neighbor Cissy Flatern. “Everyone else would be talking about cost overruns, drunk contractors, and light-switch plate colors, and the Cortwells…”
Brad, Cissy’s husband, broke in: “They talked about books, for God’s sake. Books they’d actually read. Not even the ones they were supposed to pretend to read for a book group.”
“It was just sad,” said Cissy.
So the Flaterns held an intervention. “We showed up at their house and brought our favorite contractor and decorator with us.”
The contractor did a walk-through and pointed out everything that needed work, and the decorator brought fabric swatches and paint samples. At one point, Donna Cortwell fainted, and emergency personnel had to be summoned.
“It was when the GC gave his ballpark estimate,” said Cissy. “But I told Donna, the first estimate is always the hardest, and once you’ve survived that, you know you’ll make it to the next step and the next. You will renovate. It’s true what they say: You just have to take it one day at a time.”
Leah Flatern, 12, said, “I don’t know. I liked going to their house. You only had to flush the toilet once. And they let you keep your shoes on.”
“Oh honey, you’re too young to understand,” said Leah’s mother. “Now take off your shoes.”
